He wrote new on the board, then cleared it again. It caused a blast.

When they were traveling in Jamaica, he had to go pee, a large Jamaican man stood at the urinal next to him, and he couldn’t help him self, he snuck a peak because of all the rumours. To his amazement he saw the same letters that were visible on his own penis, W N Y, and in his excitement he burst out “Oh my god you have Wendy tattooed on your penis, I have the same look!” The man gives him a quizzical look, glances at his penis and sees yes, clear as day the letters W N Y on this strange white mans penis. He coughs and clears his throat and says: “Oh no, the tattoo on my penis doesn’t say Wendy…” “Well what does it say” “Welcome to Jamaica, Have a Nice Day”

Upon rubbing the lamp, the genie emerges. "I will grant you each one wish, but the catch is that you must shout out your wish after jumping from the mountain. Whatever you wish for, you will land in." The first man, thinks for a moment. He jumps off, and in mid air, yells "Gold! " And he lands in a huge pile of gold, killing him instantly. The second man, thinks for a moment. He jumps off, and in the air, yells "Diamonds!" He lands in a huge pile of diamonds, killing him instantly. The third man, thinks for a moment. Backing away, he says "I'm not too sure about this, I don't think I want to die for what I want!". Carelessly, he loses his footing, and falls off the mountain. " OHHHHH SHIIIIIIIITTTTTT"

It's a woman's right to choo-choos.

Fishy

they said "They've done away with Faye!" . . . . . . . (note: she's not dead)

Now my friend won’t let me hold his baby.

Why is it spelled "camouflage" and not

One day, his wife got so angry that she told him: “If you keep on smoking, all of your intestines will fall out.” Her husband didn’t believe her, so he kept on smoking and drinking just like he always did. His wife was determined to prove herself right, so one day she went out early in the morning to the local butcher shop and bought some big intestines. She stuffed them into her husband’s underwear as he slept. A short while later, he woke up, let out a huge scream, and then fell silent for the next 30 minutes. After another 30 minutes of silence, he comes downstairs, sweating profusely. “What happened?” his wife asked. “You were right! My intestines did come out, but don’t worry honey - after a lot of work, I finally managed to push them back in.”

James Blond

I mean, UNDOSTRESS